Emerald Coast Theatre Consultant

The Artistic Director

Dr. Maxine MacKay, Ph. D., Part I

by GordonG on May.31, 2010, under People Who Shared Their Wisdom!, Random Ramblings!, The Artistic Director, The Coach, The Director

When I enrolled for my final year in high school in the Jefferson High School, Jefferson, Wisconsin, I signed up for a class in Shakespeare given by a Miss Molly Marshall.  The only thing I can remember about that course was the play and the emphasis on rhythm and meter.   The play was Macbeth.   For the final year that is all we worked on:   reading the play and trying to find the meter.   And I never found the meter it and my grade reflected that.   

Scroll ahead. 

When I was working toward my undergraduate degree in theatre at Jacksonville University a decade or so later, I took a Shakespeare Course from Dr. Maxine MacKay.   She was a severe looking woman with a heart of gold.  She possessed a skill for teaching and focusing students that ranked way up there with the best.   We all called her Dr. Mack and she loved it, especially during class time. There were several students from the drama department who took the course with me that year.  We all figured that we could bolster each other up when it came to studying. 

I believe, though time may have dimmed my memory, that she was retired from the military. I know not what branch.  She had no husband living with her, but she had a grown daughter who lived with her who was in high school.  She told us that she did her Shakespearean Schooling while she was in the military, all the way up to and including receiving her PhD.  

After a few weeks in class, everyone was reading aloud standing in front of the class.  It was terrifying for all of us, drama students or not.   However, Dr. Mack persisted and we all fell in line because she was a genuinely warm and thoughtful teacher.  After a while those of us in the drama department realized that we were the only students reading.   Not that we minded, but we felt that perhaps we were hogging the limelight, as it were.   Hold that thought. 

This was our senior year and we found ourselves without a leader in the drama department.  The head of the department left for another job and we all felt totally abandoned.   Having no one else who had time to listen to us, we gravitated to Dr. Mack.  Her home became our refuge. 

One evening, while we were just sitting around her place, I recall asking her why only the drama students were reading during her class.  It seemed that the others didn’t want to read or didn’t get called on.  

I recall her pausing for a long time, something she rarely did for more than a few seconds.   Her response was one that has been with me for a long time, but not one that truly meant anything to me until much later. 

She recalled that the study of Shakespeare has always been a “bone of contention” between the English and Theatre Departments in higher education.  After that explanation and the ensuing discussion with those sitting around her place, she said that all of the work that Shakespearean scholars do with English students in their classroom goes solely to each student, and is only carried by each of them to a rather limited audience of their constituents out in the world.  However, students whose primary major is theatre, who also study Shakespeare in class, carry the Bard to the world through performance, and hence, if they are lucky, to the throngs of those attending the performance. 

That gave us a sense not only of purpose, but a sense of how important it is to carry on the tradition of doing Shakespeare well.   Not just “slapping it on the stage”, but doing it brilliantly, attracting and fascinating audiences and keeping the Bard alive.

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Critics and Criticism!

by GordonG on Dec.10, 2009, under People Who Shared Their Wisdom!, Random Ramblings!, The Actor, The Artistic Director, The Coach, The Director, The Theatre, Uncategorized

Early on in my career I had the opportunity to work with the Cantor at the local synagogue.  His theatrical education was in the Jewish Theatre in NYC.  He had performed on Broadway and proved it by hauling out a large tome, turning to a well-worn page, and, sure enough, there he was! 

He was part and parcel of my theatrical education and a source until he retired and, with his wife, and moved North to the Seattle area to be near his children. 

I cannot imagine my life without his guidance, not only in theatre subjects, but in Jewish subjects and generally in life as well.   If I had a problem with a scene that was not communicating to the audience, he would come in, listen and pinpoint exactly the problem.  He had the professional objective ear that anyone caring to grow and develop could count on to right and incorrect reading or fine tune a bit of staging. 

I had the privilege and the honor to direct this man twice as Tevye in Fiddler On The Roof.   What an education that was not only for me, but also for the entire company.   He tied our rehearsals together like a neat package of joy every night and made the entire process of producing the play a joy every night and made it a learning experience for all of us.  But I get ahead of myself.  

Anyhow, shortly after I arrived at my first directing job where he was a board member, he and his wife came out of the current production and he heard me ask someone if they like the show.   I forget what they said, but I will always remember what he said:  “Never ask anyone what they think, Gordon.  It says more about you than they need to know!”  Then, after they left a few minutes later, he invited me for coffee and a bagel the next day.    Now that was a meeting I will never forget. 

The next morning, out the back door of the temple following the alley one street over we trudged to nosh a bit!   

Oh, my, how that man loved to share his knowledge with anyone who knew how to listen.   Fortunately, my nurses training had taught me to shut up when someone smarter than I was would speak.   I knew how to do that very well and came prepared with one of  those legal-sized tablets that lawyers use and several ball-point pens.   

He started out sharing with me how in the theatre, either in audience or anyone working in the theatre, considers themselves critics.   

Why, you might ask?   I’ll tell you! 

Because the theatre is about human relationships with all the various subtleties and not so subtlety, everyone, because they are living a life, feels that they are wise enough to criticize in the theatre.   And with that both he and I totally agreed.   

The real kicker is that what people might not recognize is that there is a difference between seeing a problem and correcting a problem.   And if someone says well, I thought you/they should have done such and such, well, that is a playwright’s problem.   And they will go on to say: They should have done such and such.   Well, that is where he stopped.    He said to me something that has been my benchmark to keep learning and growing the years I have worked in the theatre:   ”Hear all criticism of your work, Gordon, but listen to only those people you know have the background, the education, the experience, and the talent to help you.   Do not let criticism from a novice or a self-appointed critic get into your head, ever.” 

So, after years of directing play after play after play, now, when some one comes up and tells me what they like or don’t like about a particular production, I smile and listen attentively, recording exactly what they are saying, and, when they are through, I simply say:  “Thank you for coming to the theatre.  We appreciate you!” 

Now that doesn’t mean that I just discard anything anyone might say, but as I say to my actors when I am directing them,   “If I say or suggest anything to you, do not accept, blindly, my input into your performance.   Think about it, challenge it, agree with or don’t agree with it, but examine it in terms of what that criticism could do to your performance good or bad.” 

Most actors do not want to spend time thinking.  They just want to feel.  And that is all well and good, but when it comes to criticism, a little thinking on everyone’s part is a valuable use of time. 

Now I could go on and on about critics and who they are and what they do and experiences I have had with them, but suffice it to say that, in my opinion, a good critic is worth their weight in gold to the educated, talented, sensitive directors who care about a production and the growth of the actors under his wing who are going to carry the playwright’s work to the audience.    That is, after all, the job of the director, to get the play to the audience in the best possible condition he can muster.

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Lenore Shanewise, Actress/Directress

by GordonG on Oct.23, 2009, under People Who Shared Their Wisdom!, Random Ramblings!, The Actor, The Artistic Director, The Coach, The Director, The Next Project, The Playwright

Many years ago, while I was working on my Masters at the Pasadena Playhouse, Lenore Shanewise was assigned as my mentor.  She was the woman who, in many ways, changed my life.    

Lenore was a mature, lovely woman who was a Christian Scientist.  I had had a brief encounter with another of that denomination a year earlier when I was preparing the “nose speech” from Cyrano for my acting audition at the Playhouse.   

Now, I do not consider myself an actor, never have and never will .   I never wanted to be one and have never labored under an illusion that I was one for even a second of my life, but I did try several times to find out what acting was and how it worked.    

Anyhow, I was preparing that long, long, long jumble of words and working so diligently that it killed the spirit of the piece. It was just then that my coach, a woman not connected with the university, said to me:   “Let the character flow through you, Gordon, through you, not from you.”   

Now… hold that thought.   

After auditioning at the playhouse and playing God (over my strenuous objections, believe it or not) in an impossible and implausible production of Lilliom, it was decided that maybe I should try directing.  That was when I found out that the artistic management of the playhouse had decided that Lenore Shanewise was going to direct The Children’s Hour and Gordon Goede was going to direct Tea and Sympathy.   I did not know the reason that the entire playhouse almost exploded with the news.   Eventually it filtered back to me that Gilmore Brown, the founder of the playhouse, had banned all plays the dealt with male or female homosexuality since the start of the playhouse, but he was gone now and someone decided that Lenore and Gordon were the directors that were going to break the rule. 

Lenore was confident, I was not.   It was my first attempt at handling student actors and I knew that the school was watching. 

Lenore knew I was having misgivings about the play, which was at that time, one of the hits on Broadway. She invited me to dinner at her home where she said we could talk.   

It was more that she talked and I listened.   I did not realize until years later the incredible wealth of information she gave me that evening and how what she said would still, to this day, echo in my ear when something is not right on the stage.   

As I mentioned before, she was a Christian Scientist.   During “her talk and my listen” she said “not of me the through me.”  My head came upright, my eyes opened wide, my jaw dropped, and I said to her:   “I’ve heard that before!   Just a few months ago in Jacksonville!”   She laughed and said:  “We’re everywhere, Gordon!”   

I asked her the source of the quote and she told me it was from the writings of Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science.  I asked if she had a spare tome I could borrow.   She did.   And I read it until I found the  exact quote:  “Not of me but through me, O Lord!”   

Now I believe there is a source for all that surrounds us, having been brought up a protestant and through many of the divisions of it from Methodist to Episcopalian to whatever  And I can accept another persons religion as well as the next, because it is theirs.   But “how does this quote work in acting” I asked Lenore.    

Fast forward to the two of us directing, she in a theatre directly above mine at the playhouse.    Both of us were having problems with an actor and we met over coffee one night to discuss.   

Hers was playing the boyfriend of one of the girls who was accused of having an improper relationship with another female teacher and mine was playing the husband of the woman who befriends and “initiates” the accused young male into manhood (it is supposed to happen after the lights go out).  

Both actors were extremely talented, sensitive men and at that time, this subject was not one bandied about with aplomb, but rather played with a hush-hush attitude at best.  The problem was that both actors were pushing and trying to manufacture something of theirs from the text rather than letting the words of the author come through them. 

How to solve the problem was easy for Lenore, not so easy for me.  I watched her direct her guy into exactly the place that the author demanded of him.   Not by pushing, not by showing off, but by slowing down and not trying to make the play and impress people, but making the moment and feeding off of the multitude of sources supplied by the script.    

One thing she said to her performer:   “Think about the situation, and when you have fully done that with the subject, then run the feelings “through” you and just “let them come out, slowly and without pushing” to show off or be seen.   The results were mind blowing.   What he did not say was more evident and more affecting than what he did say.

Following her lead was easy with my actor.   I only had to slow him down once and he fell into line absorbing what the author had given him. What an epiphany for me! 

“Not of me but through me!” 

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The Board of Directors

by GordonG on Oct.18, 2009, under The Artistic Director, The Board of Directors, The Community, The I.R.S., The State, The Theatre

If you have served on a board of directors for a not-for-profit organization, you probably know this: The primary responsibility of the board of directors outside of their serving the community in which it resides is its relationship with the State and the Internal Revenue Service.   

The government gives any organization its greatest monetary gift when it grants the organization its designation as a Not-For-Profit.  I am not going into how to obtain that designation (See the note on AACT which has all the information on it you will ever need), but if you have read the AACT entry on Mission Statements, you will realize that the Board of Directors main responsibility is to see that the mission statement is carried out by everyone working in, with or for the organization.   Should the mission statement vary in any way, the board is obligated to report that change to the state.      

Once the IRS has received and cleared all of the paperwork, you will most likely be granted a 501 C 3 Status.  This is the greatest monetary gift your organization will ever receive unless you know a lot of people who have big bucks to spare.   

Once the state and the IRS have completed their paperwork and completed their designation, well, from that point on, the organization must be absolutely transparent to any and all people who might be interested.  

I feel that there are two people that every Not For Profit board should have as members: A CPA and an Attorney.  Simply put, the attorney can ensure that the organization is complying with the laws of the state and the IRS and the CPA is there to make sure that all financial dealings are absolutely transparent.  Let me repeat: Anything financial.  It is extremely important that a 501 C 3 organization have a clear financial spreadsheet and an open, honest and flawless record of decision making by the board monitored by the CPA and an attorney whenever possible.

Over the years, when I was either a Managing Director or an Artistic Director of a theatre, I had requests to give a special prop to an actor, a member who wanted me to buy paint for them (at a 40% discount) for their personal use, and a host of other personal requests to use the 501 C 3 designation or Not For Profit Status.  The daily manager of the organization must resist that to the fullest.  The Not For Profit status is assigned to the organization, and should be used only for the benefit of the organization as outlined in IRS regulations.  That should be implanted firmly in anyone’s mind that might be tempted to try to circumvent what is open, honest, transparent and moral. 

Let me restate:  It is the business of the Board of Directors to make sure that everyone in the organization adheres to the mission statement. 

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Critics, Criticism and Critiques!

by GordonG on Oct.17, 2009, under People Who Shared Their Wisdom!, Random Ramblings!, The Actor, The Artistic Director, The Coach, The Director

Early on in my career I had the opportunity to work with the Cantor at the local synagogue.  His theatrical education was in the Jewish Theatre in NYC.  He told me that he had performed on Broadway proving it by hauling out a large tome, turning to a well-worn page, and, sure enough, there he was!

He was part and parcel of my theatrical education; a major source until he retired and, with his wife, moved North to the Seattle area to be near his children. 

I cannot imagine my life without his guidance, not only in theatre but in Jewish culture and, even more importantly, life in general.   If I had a problem with a scene that was not communicating to the audience, he would come in, listen and pinpoint exactly the problem.  He had the professional objective ear that anyone caring to grow and develop could count on to correct an incorrect reading or fine tune a bit of staging. 

I had the privilege and the honor to direct this man twice as Tevye in Fiddler On The Roof.   What an education that was, not only for me, but for the entire company as well.   He tied our rehearsals together like a neat package of joy every night and made the entire process of producing the play a thrill, making it a learning experience for all of us.  But I get ahead of myself…   

He was a board member at the theatre where I held at my first directing job. Shortly after I arrived there, he and his wife came out of our current production and he heard me ask one of the departing patrons if they liked the show.   I forget what they said, but I will always remember what he said:  “Never ask anyone what they think, Gordon.  It says more about you than they need to know!”  He invited me for coffee and a bagel the next day.    Now that was a meeting I will never forget. 

The next morning, we trudged out the back door of the temple, following the alley one street over to nosh a bit!   

Oh, my, how that man loved to share his knowledge with anyone who knew how to listen.   Fortunately, my nurses training had taught me to shut up when someone smarter than I was speaking.   I knew how to do that very well and came prepared with one of  those legal-sized yellow writing pads and several ball-point pens.   

He started out sharing with me how in the theatre, everyone in audience or anyone working on a production, considers themselves a critic.   

Why, you might ask?   I’ll tell you! 

Because the theatre is about human lives and relationships with all their various subtle and not so subtle aspects.  Everyone, because they are “living a life,” feels that they are wise enough to criticize .   With that, both he and I totally agreed.   

The real kicker is that what people might not recognize is that there is a difference between seeing a problem and correcting a problem.      He said to me something that has been my benchmark to keep learning and growing the years I have worked in the theatre:   ”Hear all criticism of your work, Gordon, but listen only to those people you know have the background, the education, the experience, and the talent to help you.   Do not let criticism from a novice or a self-appointed critic get into your head, ever.” 

So, after years of directing play after play after play, when some one comes up and tells me what they like or don’t like about a particular production, I smile and listen attentively, mentally recording exactly what they are saying, and, when they are through, I simply say:  “Thank you for coming to the theatre.  We appreciate you!” 

Now that doesn’t mean that I just discard anything anyone might say, but as I say to my actors when I am directing them,   “If I say or suggest anything to you, do not accept, blindly, my input into your performance.   Think about it, challenge it, agree with or don’t agree with it, but examine it in terms of what that suggestion could do to your performance good or bad.” 

Most actors do not want to spend time thinking.  They just want to feel.  And that is all well and good, but when it comes to criticism, a little thinking on everyone’s part is a valuable use of time. 

Now I could go on and on about critics and who they are, what they do, and experiences I have had with them, but suffice it to say that, in my opinion, a good critic is worth their weight in gold to the educated, talented, sensitive directors who care about a production and the growth of the actors under his wing who are going to carry the playwright’s work to the audience.    That is, after all, the job of the director, to get the play to the audience in the best possible condition he can muster. 

A couple of years ago we attended an amateur production.   At the intermission, mind you, the local maven came gushing up to me, almost peeing all over her feet,  asking what I thought!   And I swear I heard the Cantor whispering in my ear:   “See, that’s what you looked like!”   And I could hear my answer to her just as clear as a bell:  “If you’re happy, I’m happy!”   And she seemed puzzled by that response.   It was obviously not what she wanted to hear.   And I thought to myself:  “What history do you have lady that you are so insecure that you have to ask someone what they thought of the play?”    And of course, she didn’t want my help, she wanted my validation.   Poor, misguided woman!   I can tell you it will be a long day in hell before I would share what I have worked years for with some one so cavalier!   

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Addiction in the Theatre: Part 2

by GordonG on Sep.11, 2009, under Random Ramblings!, The Actor, The Artistic Director, The Board of Directors, The Coach, The Director

Many years go I took over as Managing Director of a Community Theatre in central California.  Shortly after that I had my first brush with alcohol in the theatre.

To say that I was a novice handling this situation would be an overstatement.    Here is the story and how I handled it.

When I first entered the building, the first thing I noticed was the way the “flats” were stored.  A flat is a unit of scenery, like a section of a wall, usually made out of canvas stretched over a wooden frame. Many flats are now made out of luan, which is very thin plywood.  

Up above, around the audience and stage area, there was a walkway about ten feet wide and about eight feet above the floor.   In a U-shape, it surrounded the seating area right and left and upstage of the performance area.   The backstage area of that elevation was completely packed with flats of all different shapes and sizes framed in wood all the way from one by two’s to two by four’s and covered in either canvas or a very heavy quarter inch plywood.    Nothing matched.   No two dimensions were the same.  

They had to go and I had to rebuild.     

I needed someone to work with.    I inquired around the theatre for the best man to work with me and everyone suggested a man who had been working as a volunteer with the theatre for years.  

I contacted him, and we agreed to meet me every Saturday morning and work from seven until we got tired, which got earlier and earlier each Saturday.  I was under pressure to organize the shop so I could meet the demands of the planned six-season shows.

We had been working together for about three weeks when one day I went to get ice out of the refrigerator and there it was: six quarts of beer staring me in the face.    Now, I like a drink as much as anyone, but working in a shop situation is not a good place to be drinking.  

How I handled the problem without losing a volunteer.

By the time of my “discovery” time was getting short before we had to start rebuilding flats in an organized and efficient way.     

When we finished work on Saturday, I asked my volunteer if we could talk and he agreed.     I told him how important he was to the organization and it’s future, how much people enjoyed his work not only onstage but also backstage, and how much I enjoyed working with him backstage.  (I had not worked with him onstage at that time.) 

I then told him that the next thing I was going to say might hurt his feelings, but I had a responsibility to the theatre to make the place as safe as possible.  I noted that I felt the consumption of alcohol while working was not in the best interest of safety in the theatre and asked him not to bring the beer to the theatre.

He thought for a minute, while my heart was in my throat thinking that I might be doing all the tech work myself, and told me that it made sense to him and that he would no longer bring beer to the theatre.  For the next nine years we worked together onstage and backstage and I never saw him take another drink.    

As a young and “beginning” director, I put myself under a lot of pressure not knowing how he would respond to having a  “kid” tell him what to do.   I was lucky with this volunteer.  

The adage  “Always tell me the truth. That I can handle.  It’s the lies I can’t stand!” has worked with me since then.     I think to get problems out in the open and deal with them is the very best way.  It clears out the cobwebs, it airs out the place, and you can move forward on a more solid footing.  It might hurt, but at least it is out in the open and in the clean fresh air.  

After I left this community theatre, I returned to my profession as an anesthetist.  During my time in anesthesia, until retirement, I dealt with many people who were addicted to alcohol.     Nothing is more frightening to an anesthetist than to have to put someone to sleep knowing that they have been consuming alcohol (or, for that matter, any other non-prescription self-medication that they might or might not have remembered to tell you).   Though almost all anesthetics in trained hands today are extremely safe for the patient who is addicted, dealing with addictions in the theatre, though not physical, can be just as potentially damaging to the emotional well being of the addicted theatre participant.    

Actors will kid themselves about how having a drink before a performance helping to calm them down or some other such excuse, but it is potentially disastrous as far as the play is concerned.    But, if the actor is drinking in excess (and to some, one drink is excess), and using their nerves as a reason to imbibe, they are only kidding themselves.  It doesn’t make their performance any better and more often than not will undermine the confidence the other actors have in the drinker.    

I have absolutely no problem working with an actor who has addressed their addiction and worked through it in recovery programs like AA or RR.    I have often searched out and brought back into the acting community talented people who battled with addiction to great advantage for both them and the community.   

Early on I did have one actor in recovery that had, according the precepts of his/her recovery program, to tell everyone that he was an alcoholic and that he was in recovery.    This is long before the wide media attention on rehab and recovery that we have today.    What it did, at that time, was to undermine the confidence of the entire working ensemble.  Again, I was faced with handling the situation.  After talking individually with everyone involved, I brought it out in the open and we talked about it openly in a company meeting, to great success.  We continued to the closing performance without incident.  We were all the better for it.

As far as drugs that I have been associated with in the theatre, I am happy to say that only once was there a major problem.  Fortunately I caught it early enough to replace the actor, recast the role, and get the individual into rehab.   

A few months ago I talked to a man with a doctorate in psychology from a northern university.  I asked him what I thought was a very simple question concerning addiction.   I asked him if there was such a condition as “addicted to your ego” in the psychological canon.    His response startled me.  His answer:  “Well, Gordon, we all have egos!”  And I waited for the next sentence.  And I waited, and waited, and waited.  There was none forthcoming.   I guess he didn’t want to get into the deep well and get mired down in garbage, so we didn’t go there.  I wonder what your thoughts might be on that?  Please feel free to share them with me by leaving a note!

Later, however, I was thinking to myself how easy it would be for someone to manipulate a cast just by telling them how great they were doing.   Wouldn’t that be a revelation for the annals of psychology?  I can see it now in the weekly headlines:   “Cast of (name your performance being performed by theatre of your choice) adjudged addicted to compliments!”   

Now we all like compliments, especially in the theatre where, when working with less than talented directors and coaches, most of the performers are inexperienced and rely on the coaching of the director-du-jour.   

So, addicted to compliments and kudos and rejecting any type of wise input, little changes.   It can’t because there is no input other than a surface, move here, go there, sit here, walk there type of work.   Directors who act simply as “traffic cops” are absolutely able to feed the addicted egos with false compliments, but are not able to feed the latent talent that yearns to get out and express itself.   

I figure there is a personal hell just waiting for directors and artistic directors who simply “use” performers but fail to improve and educate the actor so they are a better artist in their next role.  It probably is very hot down there and very quiet–with no applause.

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Addiction In The Theatre: Part 1

by GordonG on Sep.04, 2009, under Random Ramblings!, The Actor, The Artistic Director, The Coach, The Director, The Theatre

Definition:   Addiction

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addiction

Before I start my rant about addiction in the theatre, let me tell you that I want to talk about my own addictions and how I have handled them so far.   Since addiction is all about fooling yourself and those around you, it only seems fair to do that.

I have had three addictions in my life: The first will remain nameless, but suffice it to say that aging has dimmed its control of me.   It could rear its ugly head again, but I am not going to address that here.

As a Bellevue Hospital Nursing student, I became addicted to cigarettes.   Not chain smoking, but just a few a day since our classes and work schedule precluded sitting and smoking for any length of time.      After graduation I went immediately into anesthesia school and there was still not a lot of time to smoke, but the habit was still there, just waiting for the time to take over.   And when I started college, that was the opportunity nicotine needed to step up to the plate and start controlling my time and my self-esteem.    Soon after graduation from college, I moved west to attend the Pasadena Playhouse.    And from there Fresno, California, about 200 or so miles north and inland about 150 or so miles where I lived, worked, and loved for the next forty two years.   Smoking the entire time, like a chimney, fooling myself, coughing, hacking, and smelling like an ashtray.

Now it was my habit to have my last cigarette in bed.   I would put the cigarettes on the nightstand ready for that first drag in the morning.    One night, I followed the routine and when I woke up in the morning and sat up just ready to light up, I looked for the cigarette pack and it was not where I put it.   I got up, looked around, got down on my knees and looked under the bed.   Still no cigarettes.   I got up, sat back down on the bed and, surprise, surprise, there they were, sitting right in front of me on the night side stand.

It was at that moment that somewhere inside me a little voice said:  “This is your last warning!”   

I made the decision instantly to quit.   I threw the cigarettes, matches, ashtrays and cartons of cigarettes away and I have not had a cigarette since then.    As a matter of fact, the smell of a cigarette or any tobacco product will make me violently ill.   I start to gag, my breathing becomes short, and I feel as if I am going to pass out.    Best thing I ever did for myself.    I don’t know if there were supernatural powers at work, but, whatever they were, they worked.   And I am blessed.

My third addiction is to food.    Now it wasn’t until I stopped working and started eating that I really started to gain weight.    Stop work and start eating!    Wow, now that is mantle for anyone to handle.   And eat I did.   Like a horse.    If I got tired, I ate.   If it had tons of energy, I ate so I would be able to keep up the energy.    Anything, like an addict, to fool myself into eating more and more.    

And pretty soon I was retired, living in a new part of the country, depressed and severely paranoid because of Cymbalta and Aspartame, and about ready to run the last mile.     I weighed about 320 pounds at that time, from about 180 that I weighed for years.  

Then I read an article on addiction and decided that I need to take control of my life and my future.   I realized that I could not let my future into the hands of pharmaceuticals and their side effects.

So, first thing I did was to get ride of the Aspartame and Cymbalta.   It was not exactly the best way to get off Cymbalta by just tossing them down the toilet.   The withdrawal side effects are unbelievable, so unbelievable that I am not going to go through that again.   Just trust me that it was a very difficult time for me.    But in six weeks or so, those two drugs had jumped the blood brain barrier and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.   What a great feeling it was to finally take my life back.   

Once I felt myself on terra firma, I started searching for someone to do the surgery.   With the internet the way it is, it was easy to search, but difficult to make a decision on where to go.   But I finally did decide on the man to do the surgery and I had it done on February 20th, 2008.

My life has so changed since that time.   I am now 180 pounds again, not on insulin, on a very low dose of blood pressure pills, am now pain free in the joints and hips and back.   I am still having balance problems since I carried all that poundage, almost 140 pounds extra, for so many years.   

And I would do it again in a heartbeat!    It is the best gift I could ever have given my self.    One of the real benefits, however, even tho I am retired, I now feel I have a future doing something and accomplishing something.   I did not have that when I was addicted, but I sure do now.   

As a side note, if you have a weight problem and are interested in having the surgery, let me know and I will be happy to discuss it with you and answer any questions you might have.   

Part 2 of Addiction In The Theatre will be next and I will discuss the affects of addictions that I have seen in the theatre and have worked through.   It should be very interesting.

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About this Blog!

by GordonG on Mar.18, 2009, under Random Ramblings!, The Artistic Director, The Audience, The Board of Directors, The Community, The Director, The Theatre

This blog is about theatre and our responsibility in keeping it safe and alive! 

Theatre cannot defend itself!   It is open to all regardless of their talent, education, background, and desire. 

This Blog is also about time and the importance of time, and the responsibilities of anyone involved in producing or working in the theatre.

The information I offer has been drawn from working for forty four years in theatre.  This blog and it’s birth comes from my need to offer/share  my experiences with anyone who wants to read about what I’ve gleaned from my theatrical tenure.

The State of _____

The Board of Directors

The I.R.S.

The Theatre

The Artistic Director

The Community

The Audience

The Director

The Playwright

Actor

Coach

Next Director

This blog is also for those who want to grow and expand their own world by using some of my experiences as their springboards to even greater theatre adventures.      

As you look at the graph above, connect one square to another.    Try to imagine what possible relationship they could have to each other.  They are all inter-related.

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